Week 4 Reflection: RISE Peer Feedback

Peer review for Sebastian Jaramillo




Reflect:Sebastian, I relate to your story because I, too, have often been different. Like you, I had to learn to like who I am and to be true to myself. I, too, had problems trying to figure out what I wanted to do in my life after high school. My own digital story is about how I had to settle for jobs I didn't really want to do, so I can definitely relate to you having to do the same thing. It made me want to revisit my own digital story and possibly add a little more specifics on what kind of dead-end jobs I had.

Inquire: Did you consider actually saying what fashion program you'd originally done? I think that would make it a little more personal and draw your audience in more. As it was, when you said you, "did a program," it made me think you did computer programing. Ok, so that might be what comes from being surrounded by geeks, but the word, "program" doesn't really give a mental picture and it's human nature to try to visualize something. You might think about giving us something more to grab onto there.

Suggest: You might want to add some music to your voice-over. You have some pretty good inflection and animation in your voice, but without music it makes it seem kind of monotone even though it isn't. Music helps set a mood and to provoke certain emotions. You have an interesting story; adding some music would help to grab your audience and keep them watching. Also, you might consider changing the first picture. I understand you wanted to have the words, "Medical Billing Specialist," but just seeing the top of the woman's head is distracting. I would suggest you at least crop the picture to where you only have the words on the background.

Elevate: You might want to expand your stint in the fashion industry. Many people would consider the fashion industry an exciting career and would have a hard time understanding what you didn't like about it. I think that could take away from your story. Perhaps if you told us what you did and why you disliked it, you could take the shine off people's idea that the fashion industry is all "Project Runway" and give them a better idea of why you wanted to get away from it.

You have an interesting story. Just from the little bit I've heard, I think you could have a powerful story that many people could relate to if you would just give us a little more insight into your life. All in all, I thought it was a good effort.